Mourning the Loss of Dairy

MooSomething clicked. My head and body were in sync. We finally had an understanding that we wanted to change and we started down a new path. A healthier path.

I felt confident. Saw the world in a whole new way. Dare I say it, happy? The scale didn’t read the way I wanted it to but I had accepted that it wouldn’t change over night and I was okay with that.

I planned my meals. Ate better. But then why did I gain weight?! I had cut out the quick grab-and-go foods. Hadn’t had a drop of diet soda (which is my Achilles heel.) So what the heck happened?!

Rewind. Let me tell you a little bit about me. I’m a creature of habit. I have an addictive personality. When I find something I like, I become obsessed with it. This week, it was ground turkey lettuce wraps. Yum! The lettuce provided the crunch that the taco shell had given and I’ve always preferred ground turkey over beef. The only thing missing was a substitute for sour cream. I’m a sucker for sauces. Anne, my coach at Optimal 365, told me to use Greek yogurt. I’m no stranger to that creamy goodness since, well, I’m Greek. I ate those delicious lettuce wraps for four days straight. I LOVED them!

I visited Anne like I do every Friday and hopped on the scale. I got on there with confidence because I knew I had stuck to the plan. Then to my horror, the number had gone up. Up?! How could it have gone up?!

We had discovered early on in this process that my body can’t handle cheese. Another Achilles heel. This week we figured out the problem was more than just cheese. It was all dairy products. All dairy?! Are you kidding?!

I was pissed. I’m okay giving up diet soda because it was never meant to be good for you. But cheese and yogurt?! It’s hard to have to give up something that’s healthy to everyone else but that’s poison to you. My body is allergic to it. Good grief!

Is this why I’ve always been heavier compared to the rest of my family? We were all eating the same thing. How was I gaining weight and not them?! It all makes sense now.

I have no choice. I have to give up dairy. There’s no way around it.

I couldn’t accept it though. I had to have one last secret rendezvous. I also wanted to prove Anne wrong. Prove to her that I could handle dairy, especially chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. And not just ice cream, but a chocolate chip cookie dough milkshake. I cheated. I got one. I sucked that thing down so fast. And I’ve felt miserable ever since.

Physically, well I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say thank goodness I live alone and my dog doesn’t judge. Emotionally, I have begun the mourning process.

I’m mourning the loss of some of my favorite foods. It’s kind of like a bad breakup. You know the guy isn’t good for you, and you want to still be with him SO bad, but you know you can’t. I wish cheese, ice cream, and milk all the best but this is the end of the road for us my dear friend.

Diet after diet after diet and nothing worked. Could the mystery finally have been solved? I guess the true test will be when I hop on that scale again next week. This is yet another hurdle. A hurdle that I’m determined to clear.