I’m insecure. I’m self conscious. And because of this, I only allow a few people into my inner circle. One of those people has become my personal trainer Karen. With her guidance I’m working towards overcoming both my physical and emotional insecurities.
The reason why hiring a personal trainer was the right decision for me is because I can’t work out in a group setting. It’s too much for me. At least it is right now. I don’t like feeling uncomfortable. Hell, who does? But working out in a class or a gym terrifies me. Perhaps it’s even a little bit of ego getting in my own way. What makes me think that everyone in the gym is going to look at me? They’re not. They’re focused on themselves. But you won’t be able to convince me of that when I feel like an elephant in a room filled with cheetahs.
This week I took one step towards overcoming an emotional obstacle on my weight loss journey. Like I mentioned, I allow only a few select people into my inner circle. Meet Alexis. My fellow displaced Michigander. My bestie. Dare I say it? My workout partner?!
Alexis is an athlete. She played sports in high school and maintains a healthy active lifestyle now by running more than any normal person would ever imagine doing. I cheered her on at the finish line of the Seattle Half Marathon last winter and was envious of her runner’s high. No. I was jealous. Jealous that she made it look so easy. Jealous that she could finish such an amazing race. One that I couldn’t even dream of doing. She inspires me.
Throughout our friendship, we’ve gone on a few physical adventures including hikes around Western Washington. I huff and I puff and she never judges. Over time I’ve become comfortable around her. Comfortable enough to let her see me uncomfortable.
I invited Alexis to workout with me on my terms. Or should I say Karen’s terms. Early Sunday morning we headed into the gym to meet Karen and she put us to work. I couldn’t believe what happened during our session. Sure, there were some things Alexis was better at than me. But holy crap, there were some things I was better at! While Alexis can easily kick my ass in cardio, I’ve got her beat when it comes to weights.
While I’m not going to be the best at everything, I’ve discovered a bit of confidence both in working out and allowing people in. A guy friend suggested a group of us get together for a hike this weekend. A month ago, I would have come up with an excuse. Today, I quickly said, “I’m in!” As my measurements shrink, my confidence grows. I like that. I like that a lot.
Many of you have asked and yes, my personal trainer, Karen, is taking on clients. Comment below and I’ll pass along her contact info. I couldn’t do this without her!