Something is wrong.

Maybe “wrong” is too extreme. Maybe it’s not? I’m not functioning at my best. There. That’s probably a more accurate description. I’m struggling to give a name to what’s going on. Is it Seasonal Affective Disorder? After all, I live in Seattle and we haven’t seen the sun in a record amount of time.

Is it a midlife crisis? 35 hit me hard. I’ve found myself asking where the time has gone more often than not. Also, I’ve been feeling like I’ve missed out on some very important years that are now gone forever. Is my perfectionism getting the best of me? ADHD? I do know my anxiety is in overdrive and that’s definitely leading me to feel more depressed than I, dare I say it, ever have.

I’ve found myself thinking (and probably overanalyzing) every single aspect of my life. From little things like what products to use to wash my face to my apartment, my career, relationships, and deep philosophical things like what will truly make me happy.

Above all else, I’m frustrated. Perhaps if I could put a name to what’s going on, I could fix it. But I’ve wracked my brain for months, yes, months, trying to figure out what it is that I’m feeling and why.

After countless hours on Pinterest, blogs, and against my better judgment, WebMD, I had to find someone to help. Understanding that this isn’t just a physical thing or an emotional one, but rather a combination of everything, I sought the help of Dr. Darvish, a naturopathic doctor.

Yes, she’s a doctor. Yes, she’s smart. But what I was most drawn to was indescribable. This is going to sound so cheesy but Dr. D felt like a soul sister from the moment I met her.

Before we continue, it’s important to note the differences between a licensed Naturopathic Doctor and a naturopath. It’s also important to note that Dr. Darvish’s full title is Dr. Nooshin K Darvish ND, FICT, ABAAHP. With all of those initials, I’m pretty sure that means she knows what she’s doing. 😉

The day of my appointment had come. I was excited and anxious to finally meet with Dr. D and do so without cameras around. As I waited in her perfectly lit room, nerves washed over me. I knew deep down in my gut that I was about to get the help I was so desperately searching for.

Not once did I feel rushed with Dr. Darvish. We talked about my physical health and she dug into my emotional health. The best way for me to describe it is a blend between an appointment with a medical doctor and a talk therapy professional. I felt seen, in a good way, as a whole. In a world where our attention is divided among a million different things, distracted by cell phones and our short attention spans, I felt like Dr. D truly heard me.

Before we can put together a plan, Dr. Darvish ordered a few tests. One of them included figuring out my blood type. Check out the chart. Can you figure out what my blood type is?

Spoiler alert: I’m A+ (and you better believe my inner schoolgirl got giddy about it.)

I hope you’ll understand if I don’t go into details about everything Dr. Darvish and I discussed. Perhaps I will at some point but for now, I need to trust that I’ve found someone who’ll help guide me back to my best self.

I don’t know what the future holds. I also didn’t walk in expecting to have all of the answers. But I do feel like I’ve made a start. What’s the saying? “The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.”

I took my first step.